Daily Shorty- If Only We Had Their Numbers

The scene: A quite office board room
The character: A table full of men and woman in suits
And go:
“Johnson,” the man standing at the head of the table barks at a subordinate, “what are doing about retaining the over weight demographic through this whole ‘health concern’ thing?”
“Well sir,” Johnson responds coolly “we’ve changed the formula to include a severely addicting chemical which will bring dependency to nearly unbreakable levels, no ones going anywhere.”

Oh, wait, sorry about that, I forgot something in the set up, the sign on the building says Coke-A-Cola and the sign on the board room door says “The Diet Department”. Now I’m sure -I’m lieing- that’s not how it happened, -you know it was- but if the goon squads of organizations such as TRUTH have taught me anything, it’s that when something addictive is put in a product it’s placed there with specific purpose to harm the user. -thanks for the heads up TRUTH goons- Aspartame, by the way, is the substance that Johnson was referring to. It’s in all diet sodas. It is severely, chemically addictive, that’s why Diet soda drinkers get those wicked migraines if they don’t get their fix. How effective is it? Let’s just skip the scene display and imagine the tobacco executives -think dark rooms, hushed gravely voices; evil, very evil- saying, “God if only we had their numbers”. My mother-in-law enjoys goating me about my smoking, mostly because she quit, but cannot understand when I retort about her crazy Diet soda addiction. -literally every liquid in their home is diet, I think I may have even seen some diet water once- This is the thing that makes me so angry about all of this, I knew smoking was addictive and bad for me, and all that, when I started, but most people have no idea the dangers of Aspartame. Some blame the caffeine – which is habit forming but not addictive in soda- but most buy into some crazy notion that it’s not as bad for you as regular soda. -and light cigarettes aren’t as bad as full flavored- Here’s the skinny, soda, in all of its forms is unhealthy, artificial carbonation is bad, the sugar is bad, its all bad, but what ever; drink it, I won’t judge. There is, apparently, nothing in this world that won’t kill you, so smoke crack, worship Satan and drink your diet soda.-and ill keep puffin away-